Day 25 sober and my 3rd meeting at the support group.
I have really enjoyed my session at ADAS,the woman is so calm and sweet and I feel as though I can be 100% honest with her.Today she asked me to tell her a list of all of the things that I like myself.I didn’t want to sound as though I was blowing my own trumpet but I came up with a good list! I told her about how my week had been and my concerns about some future social events that are coming up which she said we can talk about more in another session.
The sessions only last half an hour but I always walk away feeling better which is all that matters.
I’m very proud to have reached day 25 although I did get a little urge to drink and forget about an hour ago.I resisted and instead I am going to have a nice healthy dinner then make myself do some exercise in front of the TV.
Living in the present.
I remember reading a quote by an alcoholic who said that when they drank, they were waiting for happiness to come.So they would drink more but the feeling never came(something along those lines).This makes a lot of sense to me.When my drinking hit rock bottom a few weeks ago I was constantly looking forward to my next drink ,wishing my time away and obsessing over that buzz that I thought alcohol would give me.
The last 23 days I have started living in the present and enjoying small but happy moments.I have had to take away the option of when my next drink is going to be because I know now that there cannot be a next drink.I’m trying to learn to enjoy life as a sober person and so far, I like it.I’m not going to say that I don’t miss that buzz because I do.But the feeling of being sober is much more fulfilling in a different way.
Another sober saturday night spend indoors.
I would rather be this way then waking up filled with regret.It’s day 20 and it feels good.
I have been struggling with the boredom though I must admit.I have a lot more free time on my hands,a clearer head and am not sure what to do about it.This time a few weeks ago I would be knocking back the neat vodka.
It will probably be an early night for me.Again, this is preferable to being drunk as I cant get into to much trouble when I’m asleep!
Day 18 and my second meeting with ADAS.
I went back to ADAS(Local drug and alcohol support charity) today for the second time.The woman who I met last time asked me how I was getting on and I told her that I hadn’t drank and that the alcohol chart she gave me to fill in was empty.She was very pleased and so was I!
We sat down and started by writing a list of the pro’s and cons of drinking.The cons list was huge of course and it was a helpful exercise to do.She then wanted a list of all the good things that have happened to me in the past week and all of the bad.The good list was quite long and the whole point of this exercise was to reinforce the fact that good things do indeed start happening when you stop drinking.She said that it was good to have these ideas written down so that you can see them visually.
It was only a half hour session but I enjoyed it and walked away feeling lighter.I have another session next week.
This evening has been spent
watching reality TV, jogging on the spot and feeling really proud of myself.It’s Saturday night, I am sober and will soon be going to bed.It may not have been the most exiting way to weekend night but I made it through sober : )
Day 11 of being sober
and I am really enjoying the feeling of waking up hangover free, safe in the knowledge that I havn’t made a complete prat of myself!
I’m not under any illusions that I am never going to drink again.
I have felt strong and in control for the past 10 days but I am fully aware of the power of addiction.It’s early days but all I can do is help myself as best I can.
I really do want to start seeing life from a new perspective and become the person I have always wanted to be.
I just got back from my appointment at a place called ADAS.
It’s a local drug and alcohol addiction charity which funnily enough, I have been walking right past for the last year and a half on the way to work.
The woman that I saw was really sweet and I felt comfortable telling her everything.I had to feel in several assessment forms and I also have a plan of action that I will follow.I have another meeting at the same time next week where we will discuss some of the options of help available.
I feel really proud for making this first step and the 40 minute walk there and back helped to clear my head too : )
The wake up call
10 days ago I did something really unwise with regards to drinking that finally gave me the big kick up the arse I needed to finally make myself admit that I have a drink problem.I havn’t touched a drop since and I now know that I can never ever let even a drop of booze touch my lips again.
I’ve known for a while now that I am alcohol dependent.All the signs were there.I was lying, hiding bottles, passing out, waking up with no recollection of the night before, passing out and above all, making family and friends worry about me.Alcohol took over my every thought and I was constantly preoccupied with when my next drink would be.
I am now 10 days sober and today I am going to my first ever addiction support place which my doctor referred me to.
I have been pondering the idea of doing a blog for sometime now and after reading other peoples posts on the subject I felt inspired.I hope to gain knowledge and support through other people that are going through the same experience as well as to use this blog as a therapeutic tool.
If you are reading this, thank you and welcome to my sober journey.