Day 25 sober and my 3rd meeting at the support group.
I have really enjoyed my session at ADAS,the woman is so calm and sweet and I feel as though I can be 100% honest with her.Today she asked me to tell her a list of all of the things that I like myself.I didn’t want to sound as though I was blowing my own trumpet but I came up with a good list! I told her about how my week had been and my concerns about some future social events that are coming up which she said we can talk about more in another session.
The sessions only last half an hour but I always walk away feeling better which is all that matters.
I’m very proud to have reached day 25 although I did get a little urge to drink and forget about an hour ago.I resisted and instead I am going to have a nice healthy dinner then make myself do some exercise in front of the TV.
Living in the present.
I remember reading a quote by an alcoholic who said that when they drank, they were waiting for happiness to come.So they would drink more but the feeling never came(something along those lines).This makes a lot of sense to me.When my drinking hit rock bottom a few weeks ago I was constantly looking forward to my next drink ,wishing my time away and obsessing over that buzz that I thought alcohol would give me.
The last 23 days I have started living in the present and enjoying small but happy moments.I have had to take away the option of when my next drink is going to be because I know now that there cannot be a next drink.I’m trying to learn to enjoy life as a sober person and so far, I like it.I’m not going to say that I don’t miss that buzz because I do.But the feeling of being sober is much more fulfilling in a different way.
Another sober saturday night spend indoors.
I would rather be this way then waking up filled with regret.It’s day 20 and it feels good.
I have been struggling with the boredom though I must admit.I have a lot more free time on my hands,a clearer head and am not sure what to do about it.This time a few weeks ago I would be knocking back the neat vodka.
It will probably be an early night for me.Again, this is preferable to being drunk as I cant get into to much trouble when I’m asleep!
Day 18 and my second meeting with ADAS.
I went back to ADAS(Local drug and alcohol support charity) today for the second time.The woman who I met last time asked me how I was getting on and I told her that I hadn’t drank and that the alcohol chart she gave me to fill in was empty.She was very pleased and so was I!
We sat down and started by writing a list of the pro’s and cons of drinking.The cons list was huge of course and it was a helpful exercise to do.She then wanted a list of all the good things that have happened to me in the past week and all of the bad.The good list was quite long and the whole point of this exercise was to reinforce the fact that good things do indeed start happening when you stop drinking.She said that it was good to have these ideas written down so that you can see them visually.
It was only a half hour session but I enjoyed it and walked away feeling lighter.I have another session next week.
2 weeks sober!
I am so so pleased with myself, especially since I have been in several situations in the last 14 days where I have been surrounded by drinkers.
Another thing I have noticed is that for the first time in a very long time, my legs are bruise free!
Dinner out went well and was lovely.
It was really nice to see my friends folks and be sober.It was nice to spend a few hours chatting and being able to look them in the eye with no reason to feel guilty.
I am a lot quieter when I’m sober but that’s way better then being a loud, obnoxious drunk who isn’t really listening.
PS out of the 5 of us I was the only one who didn’t drink alcohol : )
Going out for dinner today with my parents and my best friends parents.
The last time my friends folks saw me I was drunk.In fact the last few times they have seen me I was drunk(although pretending not to be).Today is a chance to redeem myself.I will be my old, sober, talkative and coherent self.
This evening has been spent
watching reality TV, jogging on the spot and feeling really proud of myself.It’s Saturday night, I am sober and will soon be going to bed.It may not have been the most exiting way to weekend night but I made it through sober : )
The last time that I had managed to make it 11 days sober(before I had decided to officially quit) around march time I went to London to see a friend and fell off the wagon in spectacular fashion. I started by drinking a half a bottle of vodka(neat) on my journey there.We then went to a pub where we continued to drink wine.I certainly made up for those 11 sober days!
In the evening I somehow made it back home on the train but missed another appointment with a friend who I was supposed to be meeting that night.I got too drunk and forgot.
I can promise you that there will be no drinking on trains today.Or pubs, or anywhere else for that matter.I’ve made it to day 12 and that means a lot to me.
I plan on doing a food shop for healthy stuff, a bit of moderate exercise, some tidying and some chilling.For once I feel like I have energy and I want to enjoy it.
I’m not under any illusions that I am never going to drink again.
I have felt strong and in control for the past 10 days but I am fully aware of the power of addiction.It’s early days but all I can do is help myself as best I can.
I really do want to start seeing life from a new perspective and become the person I have always wanted to be.